You know those little icons on clothes tags? I sat down with Daughter and we worked out their meanings.
See: https://plus.google.com/105595823502776413734/posts/RUs5PQEPXgU
See also: http://www.textileaffairs.com/c-common.htm
Clothes suitable for a king
Clothes suitable for a Cyclops king
Clothes suitable for a human king
Clothes suitable for a mutant fish king
Clothes suitable for human king with glasses
Clothes suitable for human king with eyebrow issues
Clothes suitable for insect king
You can wear these clothes after you decapitate the king.
You can wear these clothes after you decapitate the king and deliver the head to me on a silver platter.
You can wear these clothes only after you steal the crown right off the king’s head.
Clothes suitable only for kings that secretly fight crime in the night while hiding their identity under a mask.
Knowledge of trigonometry required to wear these clothes.
These clothes can be rendered most efficiently using triangle strips.
Be careful of attracting mice while wearing these clothes.
Special outfit for use only when pressing the big, red button.
Clothes suitable for DJs only.
Clothes suitable for human peeping through windows.
Clothes suitable for mutant fish peeping through windows.
Clothes suitable for ninja peeping through windows.
Clothes suitable for television news anchors.
Clothes suitable for eating TV tray dinner in front of TV news.
Clothes suitable for hipters that refuse to own TVs.
Clothes not suitable for washing windows.
Clothes so small they fit in an envelope. (Warning to fathers.)
Clothes susceptible to blowing around and exposing self when standing over air vent.
Clothes suited for characters in arcade games; expect mocking.
Clothes suitable for Justin Bieber.
Bow ties are not cool.
‘A’ These clothes only suitable for attractive people.
These clothes attract Cyclops spies (looking around corners)
These clothes attract human spies (looking around corners)
<- Thanks, Ed.
These clothes only suitable for Toy Story aliens.
These clothes not suitable for big, fat people with small, skinny legs.
’A’ These clothes only suitable for not-attractive people.
These clothes only suitable for watching the Hudsucker Proxy.
These clothes suitable only for students with 4.0 average.
These clothes suitable for students that just don’t give a damn.
These clothes suitable for parents that insist on putting those bumper stickers on their car about their kid being something of the month at their local school.
Clothes suitable for right-handed person while speaking on cell phone.
Clothes suitable for right-handed graduate.
Clothes suitable for left-handed person while speaking on cell phone.
Clothes suitable for left-handed graduate.
Clothes suitable for people who neither own a cell phone nor have graduated.
